Good morning,

Here is Dawson's weekly update:

Dawson is going through a rough time at the moment. He is cutting more jaw teeth, and it's very painful for the little fella. Dawson has become a little caretaker in his class at daycare. He keeps everyone feeling good with lots of hugs and kisses. Dawson's latest favorite toy is a wooden spoon and anything he can hit with the spoon to make fun noises. He is exploring the tones of the objects he hits. I am thinking he may have musical ability rooted within him. He LOVES music, and he seems to be leaning towards percussion. I will never forget how his eyes lit up at the Christmas parade when the drum line passed by. He didn't watch anything but them until they got out of his sight.

I decided to post early this morning because I felt moved to write this down. I have friends and family that are going through tough times at the moment, and I feel the need to stress the importance of leaning on God in these situations. I have grown so much as a Christian in the past few years. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I am a Christian, but I am also a sinner, as we all are. I do not want to try to pretend to be superior to anyone. I simply want to offer words of love and encouragement to those who need them.

When I developed a deeper relationship with God, my life changed entirely. You see, I was lost for many years although I believed in him, I never fully relied on him. I have since seen the error of my ways. I have many stories I could share with you, because God has been influencing my life from the day I was born. I have felt the need to share my whole story, but I'm afraid it isn't appropriate for me to put on the Internet. If you feel the need to hear it, let me know. I know it has power within it to help other people. With that said, I will share the latest God-thing that happened to me.

David and I have been trying to stick to a budget and save more money. I suppose it's something many families are doing these days. Last night my brother-in-law took us out to dinner, and I saw a lady I work with. She and her husband are ministers. They both spend lots of time with troubled youth, and try to make positive impacts on those who need it the most. I felt the want to pay for their dinner, but I was conflicted due to budgeting and such. I stopped and asked God for guidance. I was confused because I previously asked him to help me stick to the budget, but now I wanted to spend money. I didn't quite know what to do, but I knew I felt the need to pay for my co-worker's dinner. I left after deciding that I needed to not stray from the path of good financial practice, but I was still troubled. I knew God would know the feelings in my heart, and what I wanted to do. God always knows us better than we know ourselves. This is sometimes a difficult thing to grasp, but through examples I have come to learn this. I vowed to pay for their dinner another day, and left it at that.

This morning my co-worker comes in, and asked me about my dinner last night. We discussed local restaurants, and then she said, "Oh, you'll never guess what happened to us just after you left." My interest was peaked of course, so I asked for details. She said, "Someone came in to pick up carry out food, and they asked if there was a mature couple in the restaurant who had not paid for their dinner, yet. The waitress looked in the lobby, and we were the first ones she saw. The waitress told the person that there was. The stranger told the waitress she wanted to pay for our food. Shortly after the waitress came to our table to tell us about it." My jaw hit the floor! I started laughing, and the greatest feeling of joy came over my heart. God delivered even when I couldn't. That's a common theme of his. Evidently, God decided they deserved a free meal, too! :) I didn't tell my co-worker about the internal struggle I went through last night, or that I wanted to do that very same thing only minutes earlier. I think it's best left in God's name where it belongs.

You see, these things happen all the time. I think it's only a matter of choosing to see them. If you are going through a tough time, if you feel like there is no hope, reach out to him. He is always there, always willing to take your worry and pain. I think everyone encounters their fair share of these things in life. Life isn't always great or fair, but that's what makes us the people we are. We all have valleys to dwell in and there will always be days we have to dance in the rain.

I have heard all of these things as many of you have, I'm sure. The thing I failed to understand is the sheer power of these experiences. Working in business I understand the importance of experience and preparation. I always search for the person more qualified than me to assist me in times of need. In order to gain experience, sometimes our journeys are long and hard. The road for us to travel is never the same, but they all have common themes. In order for us to fulfill our purpose in life God has to use these situations to mold us. He needs for us to know the depths of our hearts and souls. Sometimes when we are in situations of heartache and pain we seem lost and alone. That is a very scary feeling.

I had a feeling like this once in my life that never seemed to end. It was the very darkest time in my life, and I couldn't find a way out. Under the circumstances I felt like my family and my friends were so far out of this situation that there was no way I could reach out to them. I have never been that depressed before. Nothing I did would relieve the pain I was going through. I was so scared. I cried so many days because I was so lost, and no one knew. Then one day I decided something had to give. I could no longer keep traveling down that same path, because it was unhealthy and destructive.

God reached out to me. I knew he felt me losing grip on reality and my life. It is only because of him that I was able to overcome this awful thing I was going through. Through this he began to rebuild me. It has been years since that time in my life, and although I have come a long way, I still have lots of room for improvement. The point is, through this I have learned my strengths and weaknesses. I feel like God is moving me to help others by sharing this pain. If sharing those dark times in my life is what it takes to get people to hear him, then I will.

If you are in a place in your life where you feel that darkness and depression, chances are God is trying to use it to show you something important. In my case, I don't feel like I can get out of those depressing times UNTIL I realized the lesson he was trying to teach me. If you don't know, ask.

I may sound crazy at times, but God is my maker and I know he knows me better than than any one else. He knows my past, present, and my future. For me, that's all I need to know in order to trust him to guide my life. Life may be hard, but it's much easier when you have the man who wrote the instructions on your side.

I do understand the difficulty in releasing your grasp on society's version of reality. This may be the hardest buy in you will ever decide to make. The path is uncertain most of the time, but believe me once you take the path of God's plan in your life you will be changed forever. I can testify to that. One day I hope I'll be brave enough to share my story to whoever wants to hear it, but I'm afraid that is something I've been working on for years and I still haven't made it there, yet.

There is so much more that I could say in regards to this, but I'm afraid I'm at a loss for words. I hope that somewhere in all of this is something you needed to hear today.

Just remember that no matter what, God loves you and is always there.

Love,

Lori